Letter to the Questioning Soul

Dear Friend,

I am writing this letter because there is a person in your life who cares for you so much that they are worried about the big life decision that you are about to make. I’ve put my friends in the same situation, and I know exactly where you are standing.

I know you’re scared yet confident, because this might be the first real choice you’ve made on your own. It’s so freeing to have agency in your life and yank the leash away from your parents. It’s absolutely thrilling to explore the taboos of sex, to sing along to “I Kissed a Girl” and be able to fully relate to the lyrics. This is your first foray in establishing who you are as a person without the help of parents, friends, or teachers. You are about to define what the rest of your life could look like; that’s a powerful thing, isn’t it? Power feels so freaking awesome. Continue reading


Denying Transformation

I’m currently reading the autobiography of Rosaria Champagne Butterfield, an ex-lesbian English professor who came to Christ. There is one passage that causes me to pause, and causes my heart to break a little.

Shortly after becoming a Christian, I counseled a woman who was in a closeted lesbian relationship and a member of a Bible-believing church. No one in her church knew. Therefore, no one in her church was praying for her. Therefore, she sought and received no counsel. There was no “bearing one with the other” for her. No confession. No repentance. No healing. No joy in Christ. Just isolation. And shame. And pretense. Someone had sold her the pack of lies that said that God can heal your lying tongue or your broken heart, even cure your cancer if he chooses, but he can’t transform your sexuality. I told her that my heart breaks for her isolation and shame and asked her why she didn’t share her struggle with anyone in her church. She said: “Rosaria, if people in my church really believed that gay people could be transformed by Christ, they wouldn’t talk about us or pray about us in the hateful way that they do.”

Christian reader, is this what people say about you when they hear you talk and pray? Do your prayers rise no higher than your prejudice?

Continue reading


You might be wondering why I ended my long-term lesbian relationship and instead decided to adhere to the Bible.

You might tell me that I don’t need to live according Christian values anymore. We live in a post-Christian society.

You might even tell me that I can be a Christian and have that relationship. Believe me, I tried that.

Perhaps you’ve read my testimony and are singing Joni Mitchell’s The Gallery to yourself, “They’ve monitored your brain, you say / And changed you with religion.” Continue reading